Hello, I’m a nobody, so don’t expect this to be anything really serious.
I like writing and listening to music, like Radiohead.
That’s all lol
♡
I'm so tired of this body, I have such a strong urge to dismember it, I just want everything, everything to disappear. I'm tired of this body, sick of my eyes, sick of my face, limbs, chest, stomach, everything. I'm tired and I want to plunge a knife into my stomach and cut it open to remove all the fat, I want to hit my legs over and over, and my head, and scratch my skin so those insects will stop biting me. I want to skin my head so I don't feel any of this anymore. I already feel skinned alive, though.
I'm sick of this body, tired of those strange voices inside me, tired of me. I hate my body, I hate myself. I need someone to help me because I can't resist the temptation, I need to feel my blood, I need to feel it trickling down my arm, I need to cut deeper. I haven't reached my goal yet. But I don't want to disappoint my parents. That's the last thing I want, they make me feel guilty. I know there's something wrong with me, I know it. But I'm not crazy, I'm not. I just want to feel my own blood. Is there anything wrong with that? I want to stab myself and see my blood. I don't understand why it affects others so much if I'm not cutting or stabbing them, I'm doing it to myself. That's not their problem. They think quitting this is like quitting drugs or something. But no, it's harder. I know because I've done drugs and been able to get off them, but there's nothing more pleasurable than feeling my blood running. ★
"I'm not living
I'm just killing time"
-Thom Yorke
